Football Sunday

BatMite went to spend the afternoon/night at a friends house so was able to head over to Contagions for the games and Glogg.

Ktreva, K, Baby Jesus, and Wes were in attendance and saw the Bears piss away their season.

Quotes from the day;

"$5.00 footlong. Is that what the Trannies on the corner are charging now?"

(about the playmate cooler I brought my beer in) "That is the closest you get to a girl"

"Its halftime hows your ass?"

"I dont want to be hurt by your boobs and ass"

"the hymen is like the ozone layer and can heal itself"

and the best one of the night.....

"dont turn it on unless its in your mouth"

good times...good times

Basics 101

My obsession.



Watch this and then come over to the Batcave.

Poker for Dummies

Not all of you may get it but now you will know what I talk about

Holy waterfall Batman!!

Well just 2 mear days after X Mas we get fog as thick as Contagions belly and almost 2 inches of rain.

I have been shop vac'ing the BatCave all this afternoon and as I write this the sound of fans and the vac is in the background.

The BatCave is relocating this spring.

Happy X Mas to all and to all...

This is the perfect X Mas song to play every year.

X mas eve

Sorry I havent been around.....i's been a bit busy.

This past Sunday was my 35th birthday.

It started with a heading out after work on Friday with some co-workers. On top of the many beers we had to eat a BABLT. (big ass bacon lettuce tomato)

3 POUNDS OF BACON

It was a birthday miracle!

Saturday was an afternoon at Fritz's with Contagion. Once the snow started we headed back to a local micro brew Caryles.

Ouch.

It was snowy with a 100% chance of drunk.

Then the weather turned. It started to look like the ice planet Hoth from the Star Wars movie The Empire Strikes Back.

Holy shite!!!

Sunday (my actual birthday) The day was spend at Buffalo Wild Wings to see my Pittsburgh Steelers lose the Tennesse Titans. Contagion, K and her husband, and my buddy B came out for it.

All in all a good weekend. Now waiting to pick up BatMite on X Mas for the entire next week.

It will be a long time coming

Coolest Commerical EVER!!!

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Not safe for work

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contains nudity
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Still here?


THEN CHECK OUT BELOW!!!

Link:

Link:

This is pretty cool

To people that have been to Vegas.

The Mirage volcano has reopened after being revamped for the past year.

Funny story, last year in Vegas we kept hearing a rumble and thought a thunderstorm or jets were making the noise but it was the volcano erupting accross the street



Next week one year ago I was in Vegas for my birthday.

I need to find a sugar momma

All is right (at least tonight)

Saturday night

Sitting at my new poker table (thanks for the delivery Contagion!) playing poker on the Bat Laptop while having BatMite do her homework listening to some records that I picked up from a dealer today (Yes I said records. I happen to LOVE vinyl)

Christ like nothing had changed.

We wrapped XMas gifts earlier tonight.

I am going to hold onto this feeling as long as I can

Only in Illinois

Our Guvoner arrested on corruption charges

CHICAGO - Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich embarked on a "corruption crime spree" and tried to benefit from his ability to appoint President-elect Barack Obama's replacement in the U.S. Senate, federal officials said Tuesday.

At a news conference in Chicago on Tuesday, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald called it a sad day for the citizens of Illinois and alleged that the governor tried to "auction off" the Senate seat "to the highest bidder."

He said the alleged behavior "would make (Abe) Lincoln roll over in his grave."

'I want to make money'
The affidavit contends Blagojevich discussed getting a substantial salary for himself at a non-profit foundation or an organization affiliated with labor unions. It also says Blagojevich talked about getting his wife placed on corporate boards where she might get $150,000 a year in director's fees.

The affidavit also quotes Blagojevich as saying in one conversation that "I want to make money."

Blagojevich and John Harris, the governor's chief of staff, were each charged with conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and solicitation of bribery.

The FBI affidavit alleges that Blagojevich also sought promises of campaign cash, as well as a cabinet post or ambassadorship in exchange for his Senate choice.


Per MSNBC.


Time to move to.......

Long time

Sorry been not really in a talking mood

I will be posting more i promise!

Went to the Bears game on Sunday.

Not too cold and good to see the Bears win.

More monday fun!!

Check out our Commander In Chief. three words......Pimp Choke Hold

More monday fun!!

Ummm DAMNNNNNNN!!

My Team thank you vey much. He got JACKED!

He He (sorry Contagion)

The world of fantasy football is a fustrating, insane but sometimes rewarding pastime. Its even better with friends.

Now Contagion, J Man, K and a few others are in a league together.

This causes never ending amounts of smack talk.

It's no secret that Contagion is the quarterback killer. When he has a QB on his team it is the kiss of death as that person will get hurt, have the worst games of his life or get benched.

Last weekend the Eagles QB was benched and that caused Contagion to hurl some of the most foul, evil, mean words ever. The neighbors called to complain.

Twice

Now the Eagles played the Arizona Cardnials tonight in what was supposed to be a walk over the Eagles....until Contagion didnt play him in his team.

He He

D. McNabb QB PHI 48 v ARI 20 (F) 260 PaYd, 4 PaTD (yes true believers he scored 4 count em 4 touchdwns) (5,2,5,8), 24 RuYd which got him 36pts which is alot for a QB in fantasy football. Ususally you are happy with 15-20 points.

So now I can just hear the screams from accross town. Lets hope the drink flowed today. Sorry Ktreva

Gobble you bastards!

Happy Turkeys!

Tom and Jerrys early this am with Contagion and his father. Good times


This never gets old no matter how many time I watch it. Enjoy

quick update

Poker tonight

Ghost hunt last night with Contagion and J Man

update tomorrow after football

My Alton Trip

I know it is late but have some pics from my trip to Alton back in October. Now to save money I booked a room at an Econo Lodge.

Big mistake.

This what you saw opening the back door.





The bed was like sleeping on the old door taken off from the outside. Put up with this because I bought tickets to the St Louis Rams/Dallas Cowboys game in St Louis.

Now here was the view from the hallway from the box seats



And the view from the seats...








Then with this score the Dallas fans starting leaving the building in force




Damn fair weather Dallas fans.

Good game..good times....

Next post part 2

Weekend

Had BatMite back for the weekend.

She ended up spending the night with a friend on Sat night giving me just Friday night and Sunday day with her.

On top of a talk with her it was not a good weekend.

I hate the ex

Batmite

Is home for the weekend!!

After too many missed weekends she is home for the entire weekend!!

Football Sunday

Yesterday we had football Sunday at a friends house. It was the 1st time that Nato had it at his place. In attendance was Contagion, J Man, and myself. I think that an easy way to explain it was we were drinking and there happening to be a football game.

Seriously after killng about 2 cases of beer, Contagion brought up that we might catch the night game at.

Famous Last Words

Nato and myself were in.

Lets just say that today at work today of the 3 of us, I was the only one there.

Lightweights

long time no see

been a while.

lots been happenin.

beer

poker

trip to Alton IL.

follow me if ya dare

BatMite Bday

Was yesterday.

The 1st time in 12 years that I did not see my daughter on her birthday.

christ

Drunkin Comments

Drikin with Contagion @ Fritz's on Friday night

Drinkin tonight at another bar

still waiting to get the pics from the past week on the comp

goin on a ghos hunt tonight later

Greeting from Alton

Wow what a weekend.

Hitting the best bar in the US (other then Fritz's) on Friday

Ghost hunt and winerys on Sat

Watching the Rams beat the Cowboys on Sunday. (told you all. MY upset pick)

Now getting reading to stay the night at a Casino on Missouri to play in 2 poker tournements.

Pics and details after Wed

For you

Tonights the night

It started off with a misrible day at work.

Batmite had a school dance that she took the time to say her goodbyes to all of her friends.

We then had dinner at our favorite resturant.

Now she has been on the phone for bout an hour saying goodbye to her friends.

Tomorow a pice of me will be missing and I already feel it

Now for something completely different

My friend Contagion has a thing for Zombies and I have a thing for porn.

I know big shocker right?

Now not bad porn but good, professionally produced ones are great.

Enjoy a trailer for one below. It look safe for work. Nothing bad

But it looks good

End of the weekend

Well this was supposed to be a weekend for just BatMite and I but turned out to be a weekend on my own.

Friday night she wanted to go roller skating with friends. This being the last weekend that she can hang with her friends, I decided to let her go for a few hours. Once home we both fell asleep.

Sat after working the morning we were able to spend the day together.

Sunday was going to be our football day together but one of her friends wanted to come hang with her.

Football in the BatCave by myself all day.

Now as I am in the Cave myself while she is on the phone I realize that either she, like me is trying not to think about it, or my little one is becoming a teenager!


Either way not the way I wanted the weekend to be. 4 days to go

Weekly Update

Well what week it's been.

Last week with BatMite and we both seem to be not thinking of it. She takes after me too much sometimes. Next week is gonna be hard.

I currently am typing this on the newest addition to the BatCave....my new (used) laptop.

The dreaded Rent a Center had this Toshiba for a really good deal so I decided in the cave would be nice to have.

Speaking of the cave..phase one is complete. All the items that were in the living room are now down in the BatCave.




Phase 2 starts next week. I guess I will have alot of time on my hands.

Update

Well kinda a busy weekend.

A work friend had a housewarming party and my best friend had a suprise party for his wife.

Contagion called to meet up with his crew but by the time it was all said and done it was too late.

Monday sucked all kinds of ass and my Steelers right now are losing against the Ravens.

Christ what times.

Drunkin Saturday (or how I learned that Contagion is FUNNY drunk!)

Ok this past Saturday Contagion had his annual BLOG CRAWL!!

The rules for the uninitated..... you drink.

Oh and you head to other sites and post drunkin messages.


But

You

Drink!

Npw before we get too far I arrived late to the festivities. I didnt think I was going to make it because I had BatMite but the gods took pity on this poor soul. She had a birthday sleepover so after a delayed start I arrived.

This is what I came into!




Now this was early in the evening and according to some drunkin bastiches ( The Blogless as he shall be know as) I started to consume ALOT of beer

1st up was Shadowglares ass filled beer. (and dude I never tasted ass but the beer you brought is what I would imagine!

Then Petey broght one of the best tasting beers I have had in a while!



Thanks Petey!!

Then on to the Sam Adams that I found at Old Chicago.




Then I turned around and this is what I found....






Thank the Gods he was eating!

Then it kinda got a bit blurry, Ktreva got silly, Wes got naked, Petey had a dead laptop


Then Grau showed up....




Brrrr........

After that I had to leave due to a previous engagement but it seemed that a good time was had by all. I will have to defer to Contagion before I put the Blog Crawl emblem on the site due to since I had no laptop and I was not putting my hand in that Bear Fest I did not make any drunkin posts but I did attend!

Trust me..make it next year. It Terrific!

Now on to the most requested feature...... Quotes From The Night!!

"Ass Punch Part 3 not Part twat"

"Lick the Apple off my chest"

"Drunkin shirtless blogging....how sexy"

"Learn how to sepll you Funk!"

"Asshole" (from Contagion's youngest!"

"I can see his Man Boob!"

And

"Jesus.....Go ass rape Grau"

Ok FootBall Sunday First and Then the Beer Fest

Not safe for work

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My Steelers!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!


Ok Better now!

one month

until BatMite is taken from me


not my choice but one forced upon me

i have to do what is good for her though

i cant be selfish and keep her from realizing what her potential is

hold her back from a better education

but without her i am nothing but a mess

she is the rock that keeps me grounded

why does the fates vex me?

Wow I am Frakkin Old

Ysterday was the like 30th anniversary of Battlestar Galactica.

The show was and still is really fuckin cool.

So mad props to all who before and after carry the torch

Football Sunday Part 2

After starting my OctoberFest beer tour Saturday at Old Chicago, I sobered up enough to make it in time to catch the kickoff of the Bears game at Contagion's place.

The day was full of good times with good friends.

Contagion back form Okla Fukin Homa and back where he belongs.

Quotes from the day :

"ass puch again"

"square glass...round hole"

"people dont eat monsters"

"run you magnificagant black man"

and the best..

"Bret who?"


good times

Football Sunday 2008

Well we had the 1st game of the year at Wayne Manor.

A good time was had by all.

Quotes from the day

"Ass Punch"

"poor Tom Brady"

"GO Jets GO!!"

Ummm I Like it!

Not Safe For Work

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But Safe If Your A Guy



Party Girls Kissing Compilation - video powered by Metacafe

IT"S FOOTBALL!!!

Football time folks.

Had peoples over at the house for the opening game tonight.


Here is the score

1 2 3 4 OT T
Redskins (0-0-0) 0 7 0 0 7
Giants (0-0-0) 10 6 0 0 16


The night did have a downside though. Contagion was not in attendance due to his new work sitution. We had moments tonight that we kinda were waiting for a Contagion comment and was lacking.

Next weekend.

Alright kids a new reason to sit and drink beer all Sunday...like you needed an excuse.

Quotes from tonight

"mow my lawn"

"Herpes the gift that stays with you for a lifetime"

"Reperation Bitch"

Can you smell it?

Football's coming.........

Damn

Depressing last posts.


Should happen again for a bit...

I promise

again

You still believe you love him
I still believe I'm right
You're lost and I can't find you
You're somewhere in the night
We've got nothing left to talk about
This time it's goodbye
But you can't hurt me anymore
I've no more chance to cry
Walk away
Gonna build our plans to start again
Walk away
We're gonna turn our backs on love
And walk away
Captivated by you
I'm reaching for your love
Living in your shadow
But that was not enough
You don't seem to care about
The reasons that I give
We'll go fall in love again
Survivors always live
Walk away
Gonna build our plans to start again
Walk away
We're gonna turn our backs on love
And walk away
I love you
I love you still
I am broken by your words
But I love you still
Walk away
Gonna build our plans to start again
Walk away
We're gonna turn our backs on love again
Walk away
Turn around
Turn and walk away
We're gonna turn our backs on love
Walk away
Turn around
Turn and walk away
We're gonna turn our backs on love
Walk away
Turn around
Turn and walk away
We're gonna turn our backs on love
1980 The Babys (J. Waite, J. Cain)

the words speak

Listen, there's a foghorn blowing
from the coast tonight
Remember making love in the rain?
Strange how laughter looks like crying with no sound
Raindrops taste like tears without the pain.
I'm not much without you, can't leave
if I wanted to. maybe that's why you stay around

But tonight I'll sit here tending the fire
and pace the floor one hundred times in an hour.
And check the voice-mail for a message you've called.

I'm all alone
It's just another rainy night, without you.
Waiting by the phone. Alone.
It's just another rainy night, without you.
Guess I'll leave a light on for you.

I know I've said it before
hate the sound of the closing door
and your footsteps walking away.

you know

No more nightmares, I've seen them all
From the day I was born, they've haunted my every move
Every open hand's there to push and shove
No time for love it doesn't matter
She made a difference
I guess she had a way
Of making every night seem bright as day
Now I walk in shadows, never see the light
She must have lied 'cause she never said goodbye

I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
I'll just pretend she never was real
I don't believe in lovev I need to forget her face, I see
it still
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel

Keeping with Good Sunday

Check your earholes on the new Metallica.

Havent made my mind up up.

Bang it!

Sunday Good News

I have Bat Mite for the next month!!

Still is moving but to keep her in the school she regestered with she needs to catch the school bus pick up by my house.

If at her mothers she would have to go to a whole new school for a month due to zoning.

We pick her stuff up tonight and for the next month she is BACK!!

Good Sunday to you all!

He He

Again Not Safe for Work

He He Not safe for work

But this is awesome. I gotta try this next time...

Well hell

You're going along life.

You think that everything is going pretty good.

Money in your pocket.

Good times....

Then the gods throw you a fuckin curve ball.


I just got a call from BatMites mom.


They are moving to Round Lake (about and hour from here) at then end of September.

This is after it was agreed that she was not going to move until after the school year. I have yet to talk to BatMite but I will guarentee it will not be a pleasent conversation. Sounds like this caught her off guard too.

You know I think the gods are just fuckin me enough to see how much shite I can take.

Seriuosly.

Well I am handleing this like every one in my family would.

Drunk as shit.

Numbs the pain and allows me to deal without the emotion. (he he somethin the ex was pissed that when we were together I would never get angry. Just push it inwards and deal with at my own time. Gotta love it)

Well true believers the Wayne Manor is a pretty fucked up place to be.



Fuck The World.



My assault starts now. My new name is Ice Man. I answer to no one by myself.

For Contagion

Would you watch Monday night Football if this was the lineup

Happy Madden Day!!

Now I would be playing now but 2 important things...

1. Broke until Friday

2. Red Ring Of Death on the X Box (look it up) I now have a 400.00 paperweight.

Fuck the world

Holy Shite I am A DAD!!!

After Saturday's big "talk" I thought that we had moved on and could get back to our "normal" routine for Batmite and I

Huh thought wrong.

Had a really good time hanging with and really talking to Batmite on Sunday as well. We had planned on going to the movies but of course the car problem has not been corrected. My buddy says that I have 2 things that is constant.

Hoopties and Hose Beasts.

Hooptie for the uneducated refers to a car that never runs or when runs poorly.
Think Uncle Buck.
And for Hose Beasts think crazy, neurotic, girl.

Fun huh?

RIP Brother Man

Bernie Mac - Def Comedy Jam - video powered by Metacafe

Deep Saturday

Well the day started off well enough.

Overtime at the workplace and home by 11 to spend the day with BatMite.

Planned to walk down to see a movie and have a late lunch/early dinner. After the movie (Hellboy 2. Not a bad movie. Had it's moments) during the meal I could get the hint that there was someting that was bothering her.

When we got home it kinda opened up and we had I think our 1st, real deep conversation. We talked about her and everything that is going on with her mom and just where she is at right now. Pretty deep stuff for an 11 going on 12 year old. We continued to talk until about 9 or so when she was brought back to reality by her friends calling her on the phone.

We go from talking about farts to her feelings. Holy christ the teenage years are here!!

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Nathan Fillion alert.

THIS IS FREAKIN AWESOME!!
















oUT OF ORDER BUT TO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LOOK THIS UP.

"I'm gonna nail the same girl twice. They say she does the freaky stuff"

Time to kill post (but still pretty cool!)

Props to the Onion AV Club (link below)

http://www.avclub.com/content/blog/geeky_list_time_pick_an_album_for

They have a post to pick your favorite album (remember those kids?)for every year you've been alive. Kina cool I thought and really a trip down memory lane.

1973 The Birth Year!! My assault on the world starts now. I answer to no one only me and myself. (look up that quote)

Seals/Crofts Summer Breeze I REALLY love this song and album. Makes me long for a beach house someday.

Desperado by the Eagles Tequila Sunrise is one of the best songs on it.

I'm sure there are others but these I actually have on vinyl and still listen to.

1977 My California Days. Living in San Diego and enjoying the beach every day. Digging up sand crabs for a quarter and hanging with the nudists that lived a few doors down. Also this little movie you may have heard of came out. Star Wars. I remember eating an entire box of Coco Pops to get the Star Wars sticker in it. Ahhh good times


Cheap Trick the debut album form the Rockers From Rockford. Funny thing is that most Rockfordians have their own Cheap Trick story. How they met back in the day partied exc. Dosent take away from pure rockers like "He's a Whore", "The Ballad of T.V. Violence" "Taxman, Mr. Thief" and the BEST Trick song "Mandocello"

Ok more tomorrow.

Trying out

a new look. Christ I need something.

Any suggestions on templates or sites?

Really having problems with my sidebar and having widgets and things fit. Any suggestions?

Do I really want to ....

Live in Vegas?




props to Vegas Rex. (go check him out)

I hate August

1. Due to poor money managing by me I have 40.00 to last me 2 weeks

2. Gotta get the car fixed. No wheels

3. Summer cold. These suck

4. Forboding sense of doom. Dont know why just feel......off

Hmm hope YOU have a wonderful day

Sorry!!

Gotta give credit to that last post to the wonderful Onion!!

Go check em out!

Ummm finally a platform I can get with!!

WASHINGTON, DC—In the latest in a long series of ominous public pronouncements, the Department of Evil released a statement Monday demanding that all residents of the United States must die.


Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds told reporters that they, too, must die.
"Yes, all must die," Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds said during a press conference in Room 1228 of Washington's Robert C. Weaver Federal Building. "There shall soon come an accounting in which all will fall before the Grim Reaper as wheat in winter, as lambs under the knife. Soon all necks will feel the steely bite of our soul- thirsting axe, wielded by the unforgiving iron hand of the Department of Evil. Thus spake I, Dread Secretary Reynolds."

The dread secretary then took questions from the assembled reporters.

Although the Department of Evil has not yet announced the exact timetable for the death of all, it recommends citizens make their peace with doomed relatives and spouses immediately, as the hour of their ending draws ever nigh and will be upon them as soon as the necessary funding has been authorized by the House Appropriations Committee.

"This budget approval is merely a pitiful, niggling formality, for soon we'll be free to swarm across the land draining the life-pus out of all you quivering mortal worms," Reynolds said. "Doubt us not: Come the wintertide, you all shall die, and die you will. Sorry, I meant 'must.' Die you must!"

Originally established by an act of Congress in 1953 and granted broader powers and funding in 1986 under the second Reagan administration, the Department of Evil has been an occasional source of controversy. Its 1993 And The Streets Shall Run Red With The Blood Of The Innocent initiative was highly criticized at the time by moderates, who thought the department's agenda overly harsh.


An official from the Department of Evil described their 2007 strategic action plan at a conference in January.
In 2004, an ambitious plan to seed the clouds with blood and then rain excruciation down upon the thrice-damned didn't even make it past a Senate budget committee, which criticized the plan as poorly conceived.

And last year, the department received a stinging blow after Congress voted to allocate only one-third of the money requested to swell the ranks of its deranged, barbarous demon cavalry.

Despite those recent setbacks, a DOE spokesbeast said that the dread secretary remains confident that his department will prevail in the end.

To publicize their current mission, the Department of Evil distributed to media outlets a ring-bound portfolio titled "You Shall All Perish Screaming 2007," which provides estimates and logistics detailing how everyone will die, a line-by-line budget breakdown, and an addendum apologizing that the document was not printed in human blood. The full text is available at evil.gov.

The "All Must Die" initiative, the highest-profile program proposed by the DOE in recent memory, came under almost immediate scrutiny from politicians on both sides of the aisle.

"I don't understand why we still even have a Department of Evil," Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) said. "It's a Cold War holdover, an artifact of the '50s that has outlived its usefulness. Mr. Reynolds has done as good a job as any recent dread secretary, but as afraid as I am of him, I believe his talents would be better served at Education or Agriculture."

"Once again, Mr. Reynolds wants to throw money at the everyone-dies issue—in this case, $11.43 billion," Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) said. "This is a waste of taxpayer dollars to do work best left to the private sector. It's high time for the DOE to be absorbed into Homeland Security, where it belongs."

At the press conference, Reynolds refused to disclose his reasons for proposing that all must die.

"Question not the dread secretary, insects!" said Reynolds, rearing back his mighty head and bellowing as a powerful crescendo emanated from the department's enormous Gothic pipe organ. "First, the bandwagoners in Congress seek to derail our plans or committee them to death. Now, the mindless blood-bags who populate this teeming nation wish to know why they must perish. I will respond with the same answer we have always given: Despair, groveling vermin, and may your deaf, blind God forsake the United States of America! We're done here."

Ummm Yes...Yes I am That Awesome

I cant make this stuff up people. Typed in Bruce and here is what came up! (utterly not figuratively)

Your Penis Name Is...

Godzilla

Penis Name Generator

Long TIme No Talk (or how I stopped caring)

Hey there True Believer.

How have ya been?

Nothing changed here.

Seen any good movies lately?

Read any good books?

Well stay in touch and dont be a stranger!!

He He

Via Con Diablos!

What a weekend.

Friday took Contagion, Baby Jesus and met Shadowglare at Fritz's for the start of Contagions Farewell Drinking Tour.

Even though he is gone for just a month or so still had to go out to do some damage! Happy to say we left Fritz's still in good standing (something that I guess I was not able to do at a past visit!)

Then we headed to Contagions to follow up the night. Wes, Grau and Ktreva were all in rare form and a good time was had by all.

Sat bought some time out with a friend.

Sunday saw "The Dark Knight"


Damn


This movie kicked all forms of ass. I will be doing a follow up to this post tomorrow.

So in all a good weekend and hope to see my Zombie Pron loving friend back here is no time at all!

sorry

drunk and melancholy

a love gone

why?

Life can through you some pretty fracked up shite

You know who you are and this is for you....

Yummy

Rum and cokes are!

More damn shite

Went on My Crap Space today to talk to some friends tha t I needed to catch up with and look what I get!

Your account has been phished!

What can I do? Change your password. And don't use your current password ever again.

Why do I care? We've blocked your account until you change your password. This means you can't send a message, post a bulletin, send a comment or add a friend until you've changed your password.

Hmmmmm why would someone target poor old Bruce? Frackin world..out ta get me.

Damn

Contagion leaving?

I am pissed that my Hetero Life Partner decided to tell his readers before me!

Drinkin partner

Football Comrade

Now add one mopre title...... last to know

Bon Voyage COntagion. Go infect that part of the US with your zombie fetish and enjoy the DVD I made for you.

I'll let you explain it to the wife!!

Ha!

Pandora

I just found a new internet radio thingingy called Pandora.

Supposedly you tell it what music you like and what you dont and it creates a staion with all of that music.

It still needs a little work. Looking up 80's metal I somehow get Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Hmm lets ponder the name for a sec.... would you want to have your legacy being known as one of the "Funky Bunch"?

Too easy just tooo easy after a case of beer.

Christ I'm Old

I went to see these posers at the Coronado theatre back in high school.

So so pretty. I just want to pet the kitty......

Happy 4th!

To one and all.

Dont blow off any fingers with any crackers.

And just for fun blow on others! HA!

Seriously take a moment and raise a bottle, glass, salute to the men and women that are keeping this holiday around for us to enjoy. Also those that have made this possible.





Kinda in a wierd mood. Just got paid today and I am already in the hole! HA!

Played our weekly poker game last night. In the 1st game I split 1st place with T and the 2nd game........ lets just say that I dont remember some of it.

My friend T offered to have it at her place and had some beer left over from her last party. Ummm her stock is a bit lighter today. Poor garbage man will need to salute all of those soldiers and furthered the cause. YO JOE!!

I broke a tooth on Wed. More on that later!

In keeping with Contagion on vacation, Tammi relocating and the long holiday weekend check out below to make YOUR weekend better.

Just....Listen

nuff said. my statement for the day

Sundays With Bruce

How are ya?

How have ya been?

Long time no see.

How is the job? The family?

Ok enough of the Mr Rogers.

WHAT THE FUCK.

The weekend started out good enough. Movie night with BatMite on Friday night. Not too late to bed cause work on Sat.

Sat started out with work from 7-12 but what the hell I need the monies. Then went to pick up BatMite's friend to spend the night.
I loke to shop dont get me wrong but 3 hours...at the mall....with 2 11 year olds..... Nuff said
But I digress.

Then we come home to no power. There was a small storm that knocked down a tree in one of the backyards and the whole block was dark.
So after a late dinner we came home and decided before cancelling the sleepover due to.....NO FUCKING LIGHTS to light up the fire pit in back. The a good friend who move to Texas a few years ago was back in town so she came and sat by the fire.
Then almost on cue as the rain started and the fire dies the lights came back on. After getting her home and BatMite and friend in the shower cause I dont know after starting this day at 6 IN THE FUCKING MORNING..I was tired.

Sunday brought a birthday party for a good friends daughter, dropping off of BatMite at mom's a drink (maybe 2) for dad and the poker he was gonna play yesterday.

Now no work tomorrow for me so a day of tanning, poker and maybe, just maybe a nap.

Gods it sux to be me huh?

"I'm not givin up my soul today"

Wow....

What a weekend. 1st off apologies to Contagion and Petey. I had some personal things come up and had to handle them before the shite hit the fan.

Sunday night I went of to my buddy Scrotum's house. He had just bought some patio furniture and "needed some help putting them together" IE drink some beer and sit in them.

Monday was frackin work then sleep after a few drinks.

Tuesday was the weekly poker night that I have with some co-workers. We have been on hold for a few weeks due to scheduling but we were back in full force last night. Glad to say I took second out of 6 of us!
Through the whole night though our host for the evening cracked open her liquour cabinet and put on some kick ass music and let the cards fly.

I know that there are a few of the 6 that might be nursing a headache today. Proud to say I am not one!!! Gods love a drunk!

The music that night ranged from Rob Zombie to a band called the HorrorPops. That's a line of theirs in the blog title. Check em out



Now off to work. Enjoy!

WTF?

What a weekend.

Thursday, Fri, Sat, and now on Sunday my liver has been put through the paces.

Batmite is back with mom now until the move to some other city happens.

Went and seen the Hulk last night. I was impressed. Now Hulk is one of my favorite comic characters. (what Bruce? a Marvel character coming form someone in the DC universe? The nerve!)

I have liked the Hulk because from his fracked up childhood up to his becoming of the Hulk is a trip into the depths of a mans soul. I can relate in alot of ways given my fracked up childhood and the escape I found in the comics then in real life.

There were moments that nodded back to the tv show and the comics as well. Well worth the price of admission.

Ok kids now an afternoon of long island iced teas and poker!

Weekend!!

Friday
Work then drink

Saturday
Work then drink

Sunday
Drink

Hmmm patterns?

Happy Fathers Day

To all my blogger friends that are fathers!


Off to a drive in to see Kung Fu Panda and Indiana Jones.

Next week I hope they have the Hulk!

It's not the years, it's the miles

Friday night

BatMite at a friends

What do I do?

Asleep by 9:30

Christ....

If a team wins a game...does anyone care?

The Rock River Raptors erased any worries that they would pay for playing the league’s two worst teams twice each in the past month with Friday’s dominating 54-39 first-round playoff win over the Chicago Slaughter.

I hate to say this and it really kils me but I really dont care.

Feh

3 Things

1. Good Weather

2. Beer

3. Good Music



Ahhh summer.....

IM AM FIRE STARTER!!

The roommate and I got a free gas grill last year from some neighbors that moved out. I am a charcoal man myself but hey free is free!!

Now all it needed was a new lp tank. A year later I finally went out and bought one.

After having to manually light the sucker (visions of going up like a 4th of July visual) I cooked some chicken breasts, strip steaks and a few burger and brats.

Lunch is hooked up for the next week.

It's good to be my friend at lunch time.

I'm Disgusted But I cant Look Away!

Bears release Benson following drunken driving charge


He He

I cant help but just shake my head in amusement.

The Bears are just cursed!

He He

"I apologize for making the poor decision to drink and drive during the early morning of Saturday, June 7th," Benson said in a statement.


Ummm Contagion........wernt we........ ummmmmmm

Where to start?

Wow. What a weekend. My liver is as hard as concrete today.

First off big thanks to Contagion for helping get me back online. Some kind of virus knocked me offline and after calling Comcast (fun) they told me the way to fix my problem was to get online and download a patch. After my silence for about 10 seconds the rep must have figured out that the words he read off of his screen made no sense.

To fix my problem of not being online, I must go online to fix. WOW!

So big props to Contagion for finding a fix!

Now back to this weekend.

Thursday Batmite went to her mothers for the weekend and I with a friend hit a local baseball game that just so happened to have $1 beers.

Friday. I think that I was still drunk when I woke up. Work was sucktactular as usual.
Contagion and I after twisting his arm headed down to Fritz's for a few. Again good times.

Saturday. Had the virus hack the crap out of the BatComputer so decided fuck it and start to drink. I headed with my friend K to the local OTB to put a bet on the Belmont Stakes. Didnt win SHIT! Then headed down to Caryles for a beer with Contagion, Petey, and Ktreva.
Then watched the last regular season Raptors game in a building that had no air conditioning on. NONE. No needless to say I had sweated out all that was drunk. SO what to do?

Head to Contagion's and drink!!

Sunday. My liver hurts but I am back online. Time for some POKER!!

Time Moves On While You Are Stuck In the Past

BatMite graduated 5th grade today. Instead of have Jr High start at 7th grade now they move them um in 6th.

The fact that she is going to a Chicago school next year made it more bittersweet for her knowing that this is the last time she will be in a school with these kids.

She is now off with her mom for the weekend.

I feel a binge comin on.

My 1st Time (Beer Review)

BEER REVIEW!!!!

No offense to Contagion but after his Beer Review Fest the other weekend I have figured to do one of my own using some of the criteria that a few of us attendees came up with.

I will be reviewing LandShark beer from the Margaritaville Brewing Co out of Jacksonville FL.




The beer is I guess to be part of the Jimmy Buffett Empire.

The taste is liking to a cross of Miller Lite and Corona. 2 beers that I really like.

Appearence: Very clear and yellow.

Smell: Smells like beer

Taste: I frickin told you Miller Lite and Corona

Mouthfeel: Not EVEN gonna approach this.

NOw here are a few that we came up with at the Tasting

Belchability: Comes up pretty good and makes deep belches

Buzzability: It took about 4 to get me feeling pretty good. After 7..Hell Ya

Uninability: Had to pee after about 5.

Asslickness: Not really. If a girls ass tasted like this I would do it!

Over all a pretty good beer. One of my favorites this summer!

Again no offense to Contagion. Think of this as the low rent version!

Til next time True Believers!

Fun Sat part 2

Ok in the last post you saw Kevin Smith's new movie. Now part of the merch they have a hockey jersey. I have already ordered mine so fuck you Contagion but this is the coolest thing I have seen so far this summer






To the uninitated Monroeville is the town in Pennsylvania near Pittsburgh that the GOD George Romero filmed Dawn of the Dead. One of the BEST zombie movies ever made. So once I saw this my checking acct just bounced! Hell to the Ya!

Fun Sat Part 1!

I will continut my recap of last weekend in a bit but I wanted to post this.

Ok NOT safe for work. Kevin Smith has a new movie called ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO.


Looks FUNNY AS SHIT.

Bang it below to check just a trailer. Then check out part 2.

If it dosent work, Hit the link http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/

Day 2 or How My Liver Learned to Regenerate

Ok well I was gonna wait until Contagion, Shadowglare or Harvey posted about Sat but christ, they give ME shit about no posts!

I had the honor of attending Contagions 1st annual beer tasting or as my liver called it, how many different types of beer can I process for you. I shit you now my piss had all different types of colors and it had nothing to do with the booty call I got that night (woo hoo!)

There were many friends in attendance, Wes and his family, Shadowglare and his newest conquest, Will and his lovely wife and spawn, Contagion and his drunk bride, and Harvey and his wonderful woman. Good food, good weather, and good company made the afternoon one of the best I have had in a while.

Then the Batcall came that I had not heard in a while, Booty Call. So as much as I hated to leave my compadres I have needs.....

Follow to day 2!!

Friday May 23rd

Ok folks this was the less busiest day of the weekend.

Prolly had to do with the fact that I had to work. Oh well still couldnt afford the gas to go anywhere. (3.99 and hovering at most stations)

After work went and put 50.00 in a poker tourney. Now I didnt go out 1st, but didnt place in the top 3. Learned a little that I will put into my game so it wasnt all that bad.

After leaving that I had to help a friend move her stuff out of her boyfriends house. Now the 2 things with this is that 1, he didnt know about it and 2, we had to do it as FAST as possible. That was NOT fun. THe night consisted of "can we take this?" or hearing "I bought that shit and the motherfucker aint gonna get it"

Fun time with Bruce kids.

Well after loading, driving the U Haul, and unloading I really wasnt in the mood to go out. I grabbed Uncle Nicks (WONDERFUL gyros. Perfect to stave off hangovers when needed. Right Contagion?)

I came home, ate, watched the weather, and went to bed.

End of act 1

Woah (thanks Keanu Reaves)

What a weekend!!!!

I will be breaking up the days cause I am a BAD BLOGGER.

I really need to get crackin.

Let's just say that the warning content that Blogger gave me may be appropiate for the following.


Read on......

Lazy Sunday

It's noon

Batmite is out riding bikes with a friend.

Still havent showered

Playing a 50.00 poker game.

God Monday is gonna suck

Drinkin With Contagion

Kinda sound like Messin With Sasquach!

Went out last night to see the Rock River Raptors and before and after had the delight of drinkin with Grau and Contagion.

My liver hurts even after stopping to be the driver home from Fritz's. Head is kinda fuzzy so takin it easy watchin poker on TV and NFL Replay on the NFL Network.

It is games from last year with additional commentary. They had the Bears/Cardinals game from when the Bears came from behind to win the game. I remember that game cause I had Contagion and a few friends over who were about ready to head out until Brian Urlacher intercepted the ball and turned the game around. That ws good football!

Oh got another game ball but according to Contagion, following my rules, cause it was not in the game of play it dosent count.
The QB scrambled to the sideline and reached over the wall and dropped the ball.

Hell it was from a player, and during the game so to me it counts!

Poker Update

Had some friends over last night and out of 4 games came in 1st in two of them. Looks like the practice and tips are working!

Poker last night

A big HEY!! to all that came out last night.

Finished 2nd!

Big props to 3C TY (3 checks and thank you for your chips)

To K

To Bust Out B

To T (fuck you and your Quads!)

And Big J (that was a hellish suck out. You played it like it should have)

Poker again on Friday night at Wayne Manor.

Gearing up my live game yo!

Days Gone By

(sorry to Slaughter for the song title rip off!)

Saturday night, BatMite off at a friend's for a sleepover, Drunk on wine, listenin to music and thinkin back to the days of yesterday.

It used to be so easy back in the day.

No bills.

No worries other then who you were interested in that week and who you would be "seeing" for the summer.

Going back to May of 1992. Senior year of high school. Broke up with the girl I was dating all thoughout and dating a softmore and just ENJOYING my senior year.

Now looking back I was a complete TOOL the way I broke up with both ladies but back then you think that you know it all and take the wrong advice. I have regretted the breakup of both to this day.

That's another blog for another day.

SO getting ready to graduate and enjoy the summer of love! LOL

Just waxing nostaligic and reminising.

Stuff

It's the end of April and we had snow today. Correction...we had Slain. Snow and rain mix. Slain. Feel free to us it.

Poker tomorrow night. Again working on my live game. Gotta get my live game up before 5/17/08. 50.00 buy in for the game and other then Vegas my most expensive.

Work suck ass of course and nuthin I can do about that.

Batmite is as feisty as ever. We play a poker game every Monday night.

So pretty boring in my world.

Whats up in yours?

Live Life

Poker, The Draft, and Other Random Musings

Damn didnt realize that I hadnt blogged in a week or so.

1st up of course is poker. Entered in a 20 person tournament last weekend and came in 3rd. KInda pleased on how my live play has been improving. Now add beer and we just have trouble. Gotta get away from drinking while playing.

Now the NFL Draft. My Pittsburgh Steelers pissed ALOT of Bears fans off my selecting
RASHARD MENDENHALL Of Illinois



PRO: Drafted by the Steelers in the first round (23rd overall) of the 2008 NFL Draft out of Illinois…became the first running back taken by Pittsburgh in the first round of the NFL Draft since the team selected Tim Worley in 1989 (7th overall)

COLLEGE: Gained 2,539 yards rushing, ranking seventh in school history…his 1,681 yards on the ground in 2007 broke the old Illini season-record of 1,330 yards by Antoineo Harris in 2002…his 214 yards vs. Indiana in 2007 rank sixth and his 203 yards vs. Minnesota in 2007 rank 11th on the school’s game-record rushing chart…his 22 touchdowns rushing tied Antoineo Harris (1999- 2002) for ninth on the Illini career-record list…his 17 rushing touchdowns in 2007 topped the previous school season-record of 15 by Howard Griffith in 1990…his three scoring runs in 2007 vs. Syracuse placed him fourth on the school game-record chart behind Griffith (8 vs. Southern Illinois in 1990), Red Grange (4 vs. Michigan in 1924) and Antoineo Harris (4 vs. Indiana in 2002)…ran for over 100 yards nine times during his career (team compiled a 7-2 record in those contests), tying him for third in school history…his eight 100-yard rushing games in 2007 established an Illinois season-record…his 1,999 all-purpose yards in 2007 broke the old school season-record of 1,818 yards by Keith Jones in 1988.

What I read in the Chicago paper was that the Bears were courting this cat and thought they had a winner. He He.

Iron Man comes out next weekend. Now I am a recovering Comic Book Geek. No joke I would at my prime drop about 100-150 a WEEK on comics. That dosent count the back issues I would buy. I purged and sold my whole collection and havent bought a book sence then but still love the characters.
Iron Man was always a cool character because he was flawed. He was a playboy and a drunk but then still had to suit up and save the world.

The Hulk is being remade this summer too. Looks good from what I have seen.

Now the movie that I am looking forward to is Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skulls. This looks fun and prolly the last Indy movie we will see.

Other then this work sucks, The horror convention FlashBack Weekend is'nt until July, and trying to play as much poker as possible.

So whats up with you?

Free Night

BatMite went to her mom's house for tha night.

Whatever am I gonna do?

What a Sat!

What a day.

Started taking Batmite to a friends so she could head to a horse convention. Looking it up it appears it was one of the largest in the nation. After talking to her late last night she seems to have loved it.

Then it was to work to get some OT in while it lasts.

Once home and some Taco Bell in the belly took a nap with the cat.

I was woken by Contagion on the phone to see if I wanted to join in some drinking. Now not one to say no EVER to drinking I did have a poker game that night with another friend.

So I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone and meet for drinks before the game. Always a good time with Contagion and we managed to not get kicked out but if the night continued I really dont know what would have happened.

Then off to the poker game. Now I only knew 2 people at this game and kinda nervous going up against what at final total was 19 people but after getting comfortable I ended up in 3rd place.

I am getting more confident in my live game and I think I am ready to start playing more. (if I can)

Poker is my addiction.

Contagion

Thoughts with you and your family. Hope it all turns out ok

Stick a fork I am done with the day

Started with a phone call that the ladiy (use the term lightly) was just a total and complete witch.

Couldnt shake it off and then was called in to talk about my attendance.

They dont like when you tell them the reason you call in sick is because you cant get a day off because "to many people are off" and the job is stressfull as all hell.

I may ne a full time poker player and blogger soon!

Tilt

I am offically on Tilt. (google it)

Tilt

I am offically on Tilt. (google it)

I miss

Vegas

Day #2

Yesterday was soo good had to take another day off!

Had a little fun, eat some pizza and ice cream, the sun came out and made it not a bad day.

Oh ya and made back MAD amounts of cash in poker online.

I have an event tomorrow that I am a little nervous about and will fill you in on Friday.

After the event I have my weekly poker night at a local establishment.

Wish me luck!

This is pretty damn funny

From the Onion. No wonder Contagion is a Packer fan!



CHICAGO—The league-leading Chicago Bears defense, which overpowered and dominated the Seattle Seahawks last Sunday en route to a 37-6 victory, took time after the game to emphasize that they would not have had the extra energy needed to hold the Seattle offense to a mere two field goals if it weren't for the mass cannibalization of nearly 60,000 of their hometown fans.


"Without a doubt, these are the best fans in the world," said Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, who said that without the rush he received from the supportive, nutrient-rich Bears fans he devoured during the game, he would not have had the strength to make seven tackles during the game, five of which were unassisted.

"They gave us what we needed to play hard all four quarters, and this win is definitely for them," continued Urlacher, pointing to a section of empty, blood-stained seats that still housed the uneaten portions of dozens of loyal fans.

"Mmmm," Urlacher added.

"When I hear that crowd screaming, it just makes me hungrier and hungrier," said Bears nickelback Ricky Manning Jr., who had four tackles against the Seahawks, and credits the 19 beta-keratin-rich fans he ate for his ability to see Matt Hasslebeck's eyes, aiding him in making two key interceptions. "Many people say that your crowd doesn't make a difference, but in well-fed, nutrient-rich Chicago, that certainly isn't the case."

"They're simply the best," Manning added, licking his blood-encrusted teeth, the remnants of a gnarled human index finger still wedged in the gap of his two incisors.

Bears fans are renowned as some of the largest, most well-rounded, vitamin-laden fans throughout the National Football League. Although the NFL does not keep statistics on the nutrition content of its crowds, conventional wisdom holds that the amount of protein in the Soldier Field crowd, thought to be double the league average, has allowed Bears defenses throughout history to quickly build and repair stressed muscle tissue during grueling 16-game seasons.

"There is no question that they keep us going down the stretch," said 300-pound defensive tackle Tank Johnson, who says he gets a rush of energy from the women and children in attendance when he chews open their stomachs to consume any leftover carbohydrates stored in their digestive systems and the belly fat of their abdominal cavities before gulping down their cheeks and the flesh around their eye sockets, which he says gives him the necessary supplement of the L-cysteine amino acid. "The sacrifice these fans make, especially the ones who travel to the away games… It just hits you right in the gut."

""I've heard from guys who play in Miami, Tampa Bay, and Minnesota, and they all complain that their fans just aren't as good as ours," added Johnson with a slight belch brought on by the high fat content of a fan who used to sit right behind the goalpost.

302-pound defensive lineman Ian Scott agreed with his teammates, saying that there is just something different about the heart of a Bears fan that is different from that of any other in the league.

"It isn't just their heart—it's their nutrient-rich kidneys and livers, too, that make them such an integral part of the game," said Scott, who along with safety Mike Brown, linebacker Lance Briggs, and cornerback Charles Tillman, tends to enjoy the fleshy calf and thigh muscles first while coating their exposed skin with the excess fat adhering to fans' bones in order to keep themselves warm during brutal Chicago winters. "I don't know how many times opposing quarterbacks have been unnerved by our unique relationship with the good, tender, juicy people of Chicago, and have thrown an interception or fumbled a snap because of it."

"I can't imagine eating any other fans, and I hope I never have to," Scott added.

With the Bears jumping quickly out of the gate with a 4-0 record, many in Chicago are talking Super Bowl, and though head coach Lovie Smith said he plans to take it one game at a time, he knows the benefit of having a home-crowd presence on the world's grandest stage.

"Hopefully we can pack the stadium in Miami with Bears fans," Smith said. "It'd be great to have their unique Soldier Field flavor with us to help get us through the big one without a hiccup."

You just need it sometimes!

You ever have days to where you just dont want to deal with the worlds problems? You just want to be greedy and have a day for yourself?

I woke up this am and really didnt want to hear about peoples problems today. I just wanted to put on some good music and just chill.

Tomorrow willbe back to the grind saving the world one problem at a time but for today i am still in my PJ's after waking up a little before 1pm. Slept the whole damn day away! But I need to mentally recharge for just one day.

Take my advice and have one.

More Hulu... Damn you.

A guilty pleasure from high school. Never missed a Doogie night....Now a Barney night

Welcome

TO any of my fellow My Space peoples that have decided to travel down the dark and spooky path that is Me!

Now on to the good stuff. A good friend who we will call Viking Woman due to her unfortanutely being a residnet on Minnasota had a comment that got me thinking.

She was listening to a record the other day and she said it took her back to "Simpler Times"

Now to the younger "kids" a record is 3 times the size of a CD, black, and you have to manually change songs and flip over to play the other side. Someone who has a better discription feel free to leave one.
Back on track, her comment made me thing that really some songs take you back to a time where it brings back a memory that is so vivid it is like you are there again or brings back memories that either should be left buried or need to be relived.

Anything by Supertramp "Breakfest in America" takes me back to living in San Diego on the beach, riding my bike and digging for sand crabs.

Def Leppard "Hysteria" Skipping school in Pittsburgh to go to the Venture and by it on it's first day out.

Procul Harem "Whiter Shade of Pale" My near death expirence and made me really start to try to live life to the fullest and to never close my mind or narrow my feelings cause in one instant, you are gone to the beyond.

Lastly Cheap Trick "Takin Me Back" Cause that is exactly what it does.

Feel free to leave your thoughts on this and also your songs.

More Hulu

I loved this show as a kid. Kinda hokey now but hey!

I live for moments like this

Thanks to Hulu I now can geek out to shows that I dug as a young caped crusader





Hawk Rocked!!

I

Frackin hate my job

Poker On Sunday

Now below may not mean anything to ya but the ghist is that I had 4 queens. He He God I love this game


Full Tilt Poker Game #5843720259: 250 Play Money Sit & Go (44483274), Table 4 - 100/200 - No Limit Hold'em - 15:49:18 ET - 2008/03/30
Seat 1: hallz153 (9,205)
Seat 2: sanchez89 (9,530)
Seat 3: gritzgrl (3,960)
Seat 5: _Post BB_3 (13,450)
Seat 7: MyBoobMoney (19,810), is sitting out
Seat 9: MonkeyMan73 (10,505)
_Post BB_3 posts the small blind of 100
MyBoobMoney posts the big blind of 200
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to MonkeyMan73 [Qc 6d]
MonkeyMan73 calls 200
hallz153 calls 200
sanchez89 folds
gritzgrl calls 200
_Post BB_3 calls 100
MyBoobMoney checks
*** FLOP *** [Qd Jc Qs]
_Post BB_3 has 15 seconds left to act
_Post BB_3 bets 200
MyBoobMoney folds
MonkeyMan73 calls 200
hallz153 folds
gritzgrl calls 200
*** TURN *** [Qd Jc Qs] [Qh]
_Post BB_3 checks
MonkeyMan73 bets 200
gritzgrl calls 200
_Post BB_3 calls 200
*** RIVER *** [Qd Jc Qs Qh] [5s]
_Post BB_3 bets 1,600
MonkeyMan73 raises to 3,200
gritzgrl folds
_Post BB_3 folds
Uncalled bet of 1,600 returned to MonkeyMan73
MonkeyMan73 mucks
MonkeyMan73 wins the pot (5,400)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5,400 | Rake 0
Board: [Qd Jc Qs Qh 5s]
Seat 1: hallz153 folded on the Flop
Seat 2: sanchez89 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: gritzgrl (button) folded on the River
Seat 5: _Post BB_3 (small blind) folded on the River
Seat 7: MyBoobMoney (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 9: MonkeyMan73 collected (5,400), mucked

Raptors Season Opener

Last night the Rock River Raptors had their season opener against the Chicago Slaughter. This is the team that is coached by Steve "Mongo" Mcmichael from the 85 Chicago Bears. We won the game after trying to give it away in the 4th quarter.

After the game I went and picked up Contagion to head to a favorite local watering hole. Graw came by later and we ended up closing down the place. Now again when Contagion the Enabler is out livers beware. I did not think that I drank that much but my body is telling me that I kinda did.

Damn you Contagion the Enabler

Easter

Happy Pagan Bunny Day.

Eat food and watch the 10 Commandments on TV.

Easter

Happy Pagan Bunny Day.

Eat food and watch the 10 Commandments on TV.

Ouch

St Patricks Day weekend.


Liver hurts.

Poop is green.

Pictures later

Again

For Play monies won in 5th place Drunk as hell

Drunk

Again for a Wed. Anyome else?

Drunk

Anyone else?

Need Some Happy Thoughts

Had some people over to play the magical game that seems to be taking over my life.

Out of 5 people

1st one out the 1st game.

2nd out the 2nd game.

3rd out of the 3rd

(noticing out a trend?)

Final 2 on the last game and cause it was so late we just split the pot 60/40 Me at 60%

Made my money back and came out even for the night.

I have a good feeling that maybe....just maybe my poker luck is turning.

That and the possibility of going back to Vegas in June.

Boring Stuff

Nothing happening.

Life consists of work, BatMite, poker, sleep, work.

Time for some kind of change soon.

Busy Saturday part 2

Now after helping me pick up and bring home my new Big Boy bed
Contagion and I headed to Fritz's for a mello afternoon with good people and lots of beer.

True Believers the unthinkable happened.

I lapped Contagion the first 3 beers.

Even Fritz didnt know what to think.

The beer tasted good and my glass magically kept getting fuller. It's those damn beer elves again.

This may never happen again but I guess I will take my samll victory when I can.

You need a nipple for your bottle Contagion?

Busy Saturday

Well it finally happened.

I got a big boy bed.

Ever since my Ex and I decided to call it quits, I have been sleeping in a 70's style waterbed.

Now when I say 70's I really mean like Greg Brady style.

Now this came from never having a waterbed and when the need presented itself a good friend was able to hook me up with his old one.

It has served me well until last week.

The middle piece of plywood caved in and the bed was slowly sinking into this sinkhole. I decided then to go get a real big boy bed.

Last night was my first night on it and I am amazed that I did not by one sooner. Not only did I get one hell of a good nights sleep, it also makes shall we say Noctural Activities a bit more fun.

So 751.53 later I am the proud owner of a bed.

Anyone wanna relive their 70's with a classic waterbed?

Raptors

Picked up my season tickets last night for the Rock River Raptors
(yes that tam with the coach that threw the game. Read Contagions post)

Again I do not like the management of the team and even the head coach but the players are the ones that I can cheer for.

That and football in the off season.

Now my favorite player Maurice Simpkins was going to come back this year for another electricfying season but instead signed to another league that will give him a better chance to move up.

On one hand sucks that he has to go but cannot fault a guy for wanting to better himself.

Hung out last night a bit with him and was able to talk a bit.



The first game is on a Monday then he is leaving for Tennessee. I guess that I better take Tuesday off.

Why do I?

Well knowing that I have to be in at work early go and start to drink with Contagion? Christ I was even home by 1130 and only had a 6 pack.

Damn that Enabler!

Hells Ya

I just recently opened a cash account at Full Tilt Poker after deeming myself ready to play for real monies instead of play money.

After spending about 25.00 I won 3rd place in a tournment and won over 100.00.

Damn I gots the disease!

He He

For those that know...dont fuck with Big Poppa

This sux

I thought more Hulk then Shell Head. Oh well.

Happy V Day

And not the disease kind!

Take the one you care about, give her a kiss and a smack on the ass and go put some monies in the coffers of the corporate man.

God I love Corporate Holidays

Uncle...UNCLE!!!!

Ok Mother Nature, I give. Uncle! Stop already with the weather.

I am done with snow.

I am done with clouds.

I am done with cold.

I am done with winter.

All I need to do it give some kind of offering like the Pagans and maybe, just maybe we can be out of this.

I am open to suggestions.

Random Thoughts

You know how things that happen make you really take step back and look at life and all of the elements that go into the world and start to ponder and try to have insight on it all.

In the past 5 weeks I have had just about everything thrown at me that one person has in a lifetime.

Really has me thinking how easy it would be just to pack it in and start over again with a clean slate somewhere else.

2 things keep me

The love for my daughter and for another.

Without these, I would not be here to share lifes mysteries with you fellow readers.

I have come to the belief that we live under the motto of a co-worker;

"Fake It Til You Make It"

Never truer words

Still in shock

Work let us go early!

Only 1 other time in the past 4 years that I have been at my employment that we have been sent home.

That was when we had no power.

The weather here is about 10 or so inches of snow then the winds start up.

The oh so wise powers that be decided to make us come in and work for about 5 hours then send us home when it was worse out.

I really dont understand the logic of some companies sometimes.

Voting

Well I braved the elements and did my civic duty and voted.

Not a whole lot to talk about here just to get out and do what our Founding Fathers fought so hard to allow us to do.

Allow our voices to be heard above the din.

Super Bowl?

Ok so today is the day that most men cherish.

The Super Bowl.

Now I dont like the Patriots (cept I rode Tom Brady in Fantasy Football like the Ho he is) and I REALLY dont like Eli Manning.

I guess as a fan of football I will be rooting to have this a good football game instead of a suckfest.

SO I have a few friends coming over to drink beer, eat meat, and relish the 2nd to last football game of the season.

The Pro Bowl is kinda fun but not really a game.

SO True Believers grab a beer, tear some flesh and root for the instution that is FOOTBALL!

Why?

This is gonna get a bit personal so if you are in the mood for lightheartedness come back next week.

A good friend...no a brother of mine lost his baby last week.


This man was part of what we call ourselves The Six Pack. A group of guys that have been together since High School but also through the best of times and the worst of times.

We thought that the fact we survived so much stuff that we were invincible.

We are....our loved ones are not.

On some cruel twist of fate....some higher power....some fucked up reason the fates have decided to take one of our loved ones rather then ourselves.

Is it because we have tempted the fates for so long?

Is it because of a vengeful god?

Is it just because it was not meant to be?

No one will know but as of this I am no longer believing in a God.

Why will a god take a child from their parents? Why would a god put parents though this? Why would a god take the most pure of souls rather then take someone who should not be left to hurt other people?

I believe there are Gods whom receve power by the number of people whom believe but I cannot condone a religion of a god whom will take a child from the Earth.

I cannot even fathom what my Brother is going through but if it was Batmite I could not function.

Sorry to get so deep but please True Believers say a prayer to whatever deity that you beleive in for my Brother. A Man whom shoul;d be a father but by a cruwel fate is not.